When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
