did you get engaged???
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize