So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
