We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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