I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
