summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
