May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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