operation have a gay friend backfired
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
