i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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