dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
