My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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