Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish i was in the wii world.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize