Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
