ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
