Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
