Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize