she woke up with a sticky ear
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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