it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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