I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
