My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
