I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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