Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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