Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
