so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
