Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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