We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
