Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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