i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize