I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
