We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
