wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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