I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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