I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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