My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
