Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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