she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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