somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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