It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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