Dude my mom stole all your condoms
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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