I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
