she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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