If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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