Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
