I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
