This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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