Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize