I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
