is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
