I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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