After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize