that's an acceptable place to lick
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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