Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
