He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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