i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's always time for handjobs
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
