I'm drive I can fine osifer
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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