I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
