Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
