I didn't shave. On purpose
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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