I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
