the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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