***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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