If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
