I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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