i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
