Duck Duck Cougar?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he puts the penis in happiness.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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