we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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